I have gotten a new journal just because I needed a fresh start. I will update this one every now and again though.

NEW IS THE SAME OLD

There isn't much happening here, work work and work.
Sigh.

I've done two weeks of work experience and have one more week to go.
I'm feeling exhausted. I've never done 9am to 6pm days before and after two weeks I'm beginning to feel as though everything I write is pretty much the same.
Not that I haven't learnt anything. I've learnt heaps - asking the right questions, interviewing people, dealing with PR and media releases, organising photos, writing in the style of the paper, trying not to be too "wordy" and having interesting first sentences.
The thing with being a journo is that you write whatever they tell you to write. This is obvious from all the pieces that the journos are given...fish stories and the like. At the same time they all seem to pretend to be enthusiastic over the phone when they're grilling media people about why the education system is screwed up.
All I'm writing is "human interest" pieces. I'd love something grittier but I'm just the intern so its Christmas stories and charities for me.
Actually I will be getting something gritty - a piece on salt and sugar intake.
I love writing and that's my problem.
I want to get work experience at a magazine and see what the difference is...

On the plus side my supervisor told me that I seem to have a natural ability to write despite the fact that I haven't studied journalism per se. I'm not implying that I write perfectly or anything like that, I have good and bad pieces, but that left me feeling strangely flattered. Even if I'm not sure whether or not I'm cut out to be a journo.

I blew off work today to go see Harry Potter. Ssh!!!

Sometimes I feel as though everything in my life is rapidly changing. The feeling that you get when you're standing still but everything is whooshing around you at top speed and there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept that change is inevitable as is death and taxes.

The last couple of weeks have felt exhausting. My grandfather passed away. I had an exam and a multitude of assignments. I've had guests at my house, then my brother coming back for the funeral and my grandmother moving in with us. The store I work at is closing down so I'm being shipped to another (syndicate) store. I start my internship at a major newspaper next week. And then birthday, Christmas, New Years. One of my friends at work asked me what I was doing for New Years and I said: "I can't even think that far ahead!"

Ironically, a customer left behind a list entitled "5 Year Plan" in the store. Also I got an email about a 5 Year "envoy" Reunion.

But at the same time I feel a strange sense of calm. Optimism even. I will wait to find if this will last forever.

I just realised there's less than a month till my birthday.

Existential crisis mode begins.

I think birthdays are strange occasions for a couple of reasons.
1) They are meant to be a 'special day' because thats when you first entered the world, but really its no different than any other day of the year...
2) When I was a kid I had an over active imagination (and still do) and would project how my life should be at certain ages. I'm not exactly sure if I remember what I was meant to have accomplished at 20... probably well travelled, been published, in a relationship, have a lot of cool clothes...

But at least my birthday means that it'll be Christmas soon, that I'll see my brother soon, that it will really be summer, that I'll be going crabbing and going to the beach.

Anyway here's my wishlist:

Lindt chocolate  ( babushkas )
SATC Box set (which I'm already getting woot woot)
iTunes music cards, any denomination
A new handbag preferably leather as I don't own any real leather bags...a balenciaga would be nice (in my dreams)
Accessories!
Beads!

I wouldn't mind a new watch for practical reasons as my watch straps are dying...but I want one for my 21st...

And now its back to political parties in the Australian political system...fun...

I had about four hours sleep last night. Right now I'm feeling rather stoned. And I just had a Horlicks so my head is just about to fall onto the keyboard.

Went to my Aunt's wedding anniversary partay, which was more fun that I thought it would be. Perhaps that sounds bad, but you never know with family things, the adults tend to have more fun than the kids. Although the 'real' kids ie. those under 15 were mixing pepper in their cokes and playing with the wax on the candles...
Anyway there was lots of dancing and singing. Got a bit karaoke-esque. Had a rather bad trifle for dessert though. It was so deceiving in that cocktail glass with the cream and maschino cherry on top.
Oh and my Aunt was really surprised to see her sisters there. Mission accomplished.

I feel a bit vague at the moment though, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I might have a new mantra, or at least a new view on life that I thought I'd share.

You have to try everything in life at least once.

And maybe I will.

Why do I always have to be one of those people that don't believe in hyped up favourites? If I bet on Makybe Diva I would be like...$10 richer. No I had to bet on Eye Popper, which basically popped. I find it upsetting that "Phar Lap II" had to drink out of a bucket whilst she basically made the owner/trainer/jockey millions of dollars richer. Why doesn't the horse get something? Some carrots maybe?

I cut my hair today. Its a bit drastic. Far more drastic than it was meant to be...I have a fringe and its choppy and its going to take me awhile to get used to...

( Scary. )

I'm meant to be working on my Shakespeare essay and my exegesis, but live journal procrastination has taken over. Oh dear.

I had work today, so my official excuse for not working on my assignments is that I'm tired. I can never motivate myself on a Friday night. It's the concept of using brain cells on a night usually reserved for watching repeated movies. I just watched the beginning of Ned Kelly - best part of the movie, Orlando Bloom. He looks really scrawny in Ned Kelly, the goatee doesn't help but its the eyes that remind you that Legolas is in there somewhere. The ELF EYES!

It was really quiet in the store today. I had two people ask me my opinion on clothes. Its kind of fun being asked what I think of different items, the other store that I used to work at was really gung ho about sales and customers and this on isn't because its a clearance store. So I find it amusing when people ask for my opinion although I admit that I tend to assess what the customer wants to be told and go along with it. Yeah it looks great on you! Subconsciously every woman knows which top/pants/skirt suits them better, but they just need the reassurance of a second opinion before they fork over money. Perhaps thats why women tend to go shopping with their girlfriends/mother/second half. Quite frankly though if I like something and I try it on I know straight away if I suit it and if I'll buy it regardless of a second opinion. Unless its my mum that I'm shopping with because she knows me really well.

Ooh and my mum bought me the Dior backstage mascara that I wanted, it came with a Lychee Rose lipgloss. I think thats such a pretty name for a lipgloss...I have to pay her back.

I have two quotes from convos this week that I have to share, because they're funny to me. Firstly, I worked last night which is always fun, lots of drama on a thursday night - people stealing, running around, having long lines. One of the girls I work with is hilarious. She basically is so frank and brutally honest, funnily enough she has the same name as me. She always talks about her boyfriend, its obvious that she adores him etc but anyway she was going on about his sports injury and then somehow moved on to talking about sex...and she asked me and Jill if we were religious. We're like yeah a little and then Ta(r)sh goes:

Do you believe in sex?

And I lost it.

The other quote is from the American guy in my creative writing class. We were discussing a story in which a character morphs into a cat. (rather Animorphish I know). And he was going on about how cats like to lick things. (so does Ruski, he almost ate my toe today) Anyway the American goes:

I know if I were a cat the temptation to lick someone would be pretty high.

Whaaa?

I am still laughing. I am so sad.



So tell me baby can you hear me/ I send a message into the dark / It's such a mystery when you're near me/ I've got to find a way to your heart

My brother bought me this for my birthday:

( I'm drunk...in Vogue! SATC BABY!!! )

I won't get it till after my birthday (which is on the 6th of December for all you people taking note) but I CAN'T WAIT.

Had my eyebrows done today, they look so smoooth. I'll be giving my hair the chop next week it has too much split ends and feels quite brittle. I don't likes it.

Also want this:
( it's all about the eyes )

I'm having weird dreams. Actually I always have weird dreams when I'm stressed out. Sometimes I think weird dreams can be caused by the food you eat too. This is an untested theory.

Last night I dreamt that the uni library was this massive 20 storey building that had classrooms and one floor was a giant theatre. I spent the entire dream running up and down the stairs, avoiding some random person and trying to escape the building.

On Friday night I dreamt bout an old friend of mine from my previous, previous high school. Apparently the dream had a whole I Know What You Did Last Summer vibe to it as a group of us had been involved in an accidental murder. Yet the body disappeared. Dum de dum dum. Then the line between the dream and my own agency started to get a bit blurry. But the accident occurred on an island, had a very LOST feel to it...

My dreams are almost better than TV. Almost.

I LOVE Catching Tales, Jamie Cullum's new cd. BUY IT! It's soo good, I bought it on friday and I've been listening to the songs ever since. My favourite is "Photograph" and "Nothing I Do". His lyrics have this earnest quality to them but its still jazz with a bit of a kick in it. I love how he can sing a line like "We were so drunk last night/ We got into a stupid fight/ You called me a stupid, selfish, pri-ii-ick"
hahaha. I laughed in the car when I first heard that line.

I've been working lots, customers been annoying me a lot. Firstly, not everything in the store is 3 dollars, yes its a clearance store, no I don't know how long it will be a clearance store for, yes the prices are marked, and I would appreciate it if you didn't leave the pile of clothes you tried on in the change room. Who does that? I never leave clothes in the change room when I'm trying stuff on. Or when people throw clothes around and go with the "it's the sales assistant's job to pick it up" mentality. Well maybe if you didn't leave the clothes around, on the floor, on top of the racks I wouldn't need to pick them up.
I haven't been paid properly either. Why does that always happen to me? I didn't work today so I'll have to sort it out on Monday. On the plus side I got some cool new threads. My favourite is this brown bolero with shell like buttons. I have about four boleros, soon they will go out of fashion and I'll be the only person still wearing them. It's okay though. I'm little, hence I should be able to own miniature clothing.

I'm supposed to be finishing off my essay, buts its terribly over the word limit and I have to re-write an entire paragraph on the Third Way. Third Way is the new Socialism. Apparently. Speaking of Labor my article on Marky Mark Latham is going to be published in the uni paper. I haven't had anything published for the last 3 editions. I hope people read it...

Speaking of writing, my creative writing piece is due soon. I think this is the most complicated piece I have ever written, the characters are a bit intense. I have my last class next week. There's an American guy in my class who wrote a piece that my tutor said was practically perfect and he didn't have to change a thing. He's kind of cute, partly because he makes silly jokes in his accent. "Don't you read succubus daily?" Gah.

Wish I was going to see Ben Lee and Missy Higgins but the gig has been sold out. Dad offered to drive me there so I can stand outside and listen to the concert (its outdoors). Sure, as long as I have a bag over my head so no one can see me...

This is a long entry, this is what happens when you're procrastinating.